Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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