She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
