I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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