I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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