I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
