So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
