Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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