My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
