okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
