I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
