I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
