So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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