that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
