Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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