I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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