Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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