I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize