whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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