You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize