i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
