break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
