Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
