Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
