Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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