if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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