what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
