Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
