he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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