i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
