Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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