Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
