i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
