she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
try to milk me bitch
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