did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
