You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
