i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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