So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
