I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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