i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was like eating out sand paper
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
