Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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