My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
