If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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