I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
