I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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