I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
