I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
