Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
