I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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