I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
