Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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