know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize