PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
