Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
