Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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