oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think my moral compass just broke
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
