For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
