Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
