You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
