i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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