never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We smell like vodka and hangover
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