the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
