This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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