We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
