I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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