his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
